5 Types of Bro’s You Absolutely Hate at The Gym
If your gym has a lot of members, guess what? It’s going to have a lot of stereotypes.
So if you’ve read our other article about types of girls in the gym, you’re going to want to read this one.
Sometimes these stereotypes can be bad for your workout, other times it’s the best thing ever.
Identifying these guys is key – once you can spot a certain type of bro from over a mile away, you can anticipate their moves and time your workout around them. It’s not ideal, but neither is waiting for a machine or some gym space.
I say this because unlike most of the girl stereotypes that we’ve covered; these guys are a lot more common on the gym floor, and a shit-load more likely to slow down your session.
You cannot allow this to happen – and this guide is here to help.
Pooling together all of the Fit Chief resources, we’ve managed to amass a list of the most common type of bro who frequents your gym. This article will cover how they’re most likely to act in the blood circus and the best ways to work around them.
The Tedious Tough Mudder
I can’t say this for all T’Mudders but in my experience this is 99% of what I’ve seen from these bros in the gym.
These guys are unbearable. A special kind of stupid, most TM’ers seem to have never really excelled in sports when they were younger and are desperate to stand out.
Crippling insecurities put their life on hold, and force them to start running half a mile a day to train for a Tough Mudder – and they want you and everyone else in the gym to know about it.
This is usually done through them talking about any exercise and boasting how it came in handy during Tough Mudder
The bros that have already completed a Tough Mudder are the worst – they’ll be wearing the T-Shirt to the gym EVERY DAY. How does that even work? Do they have multiple? Do they wash it every couple of days? So many questions and confusion, but the answer we always come back to is: They’re just idiots.
You can usually catch these guys deadlifting one plate for reps, and they’ll be there for a while. If it’s your deadlift day and you see one these guys floating around, move to the platform and set up quick.
99 Problems and My Knees are One
This is the guy who doesn’t do heavy lifts. You’ve never seen him do heavy lifts. Whatever, that’s his choice – it’s not effecting me in anyway.
But what I cannot allow are bro’s who openly lie about injuries to get out certain exercises. This is more common if you’re training with a bro that you don’t know that well yet. You met him in the gym, bromance ensued and now you’ve set up a session together.
And it’s a leg day.
Suddenly when you approach the squat rack, this bro comes down with all kinds of problems – “My knees, my shoulders, my vagina etc.” You’ll usually catch this from a bro who is a similar size to you or just a little bit bigger.
They spend their time making grand statements about their lifts and how much they can do, but when you actually put them to the test, they can’t demonstrate it for whatever reason. It’s embarrassing. For them, not you.
There’s not much of a problem to solve hear, unless you don’t like having an audience during your session. Stick out the session, but never text that bro to train again.
Chestbrah and the CurlBro’s
Because who needs proportion, right?
These are the kind of guys that take buffoonery to a whole new level.
The focus on two main muscle groups. Their biceps, and their pecs. To make things worse, these guys who believe they are the most serious men in the gym. This portrayed by slamming every weight on the floor, staring at the mirror like it just raped their dog, and the worst crime of all… never re-racking the weights.
It’s a shocking state of affairs, and over time you actually witness these guys transform into a slightly less brolic form of Quasimodo.
This is when these bro’s shoulders start to cave forwards, their entire physique seems to hunch over. This is the final stage of their gym lifestyle – an injury occurs and these brahs get wiped out the lifting game for good.
However it might not end there. Although not able to properly workout, some of the more tenacious of this species hover around the gym haunting other lifters. We call these:
The Gains of Christmas Past
The GoCP is one of the most annoying and distracting bros you can come across. Unfortunately, they span across many ages from guys in their late twenties to dude approaching their fifties.
But what exactly do they do?
They boast. Whole-heartedly. About things they could never prove.
If you’re a bro with serious gains, I’m sure you’ve had one of these fellas come up to you and say “I used to look like you.” – Bro, I didn’t fucking ask. I’m trying to make some sweet gains on the lat pull d0wn here and you’re really ruining the vibe.
“Yeah, I was a bit bigger though. And leaner. This was a few years ago now, though.”
You don’t say. But you’re clearly still going the gym so what the hell happened. I smell something, and it’s not a protein fart – it’s bullshit.
The best way to get around these guys is to bring headphones. Seriously just block these dudes out, they’re so desperate for validation from an aesthetic dude, they’ll try and edge their way in at any given moment.
This not only is annoying, it ruins sets. The last thing I want to hear when I’m churning out serious iron is what lifting was like back in fabricated version of the good old days while a flap of gut slaps me in the face.
Headphones should cover it and avoid any confrontations before they even arise.
The Crazy Guy
Every gym has one, and this isn’t crazy in a “fun” way – this is crazy in the sense that this guy is going to have an almighty accident, and maybe even take you down with him.
These are guys who will pay a full gym membership without ever working out unsupervised before, drop any initiative they have at the door and proceed to train with no idea of what the f*ck they’re doing.
They usually follow a routine they created themselves and looks like some seriously dangerous shit.
Stuff like this occurs regularly:
The quality of his routine is almost as good as the resolution of that video.
The main problem with these guys is that they are a huge distraction during your workout, but they’re also a hazard to the gym. They’re the reason equipment breaks.
Nothing’s worse, or more heartbreaking than grinding out a set, and seeing the next piece of equipment in your routine being raped by one of these guys.
Crazies are unfortunately unavoidable as they are a rogue element throughout the gym. Whenever I speak to them I get the impression they feel like they have taken the ‘red pill’ and understand real lifting. It’s hard to take them down from that, the only thing that really educates them is an effective and impressionable injury.
Conclusion
These are the types of bros that are ruining the gym atmosphere for everyone. Whether they’re not performing proper gym etiquette, have no idea what they’re doing or simply interrupting your training just to tell you how much better they are at it than you. We hope this guide has helped you better handle a few more of the ‘common types’.
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